Let me tell you about a dirty little habit that millions indulge but nobody talks about:

AGE GOOGLING

It's epidemic among writers! We look up other writers' birthdays and compare them to the copyright date of their first book and add or subtract the number of years from our own age and proceed to drive ourselves crazy. Or we look up someone's age who just wrote a self help or spiritual book and then judge them about whether or not we believe they have the appropriate amount of life experience. Why does it take another writer's age to validate our own stage in the process?

Well, I've got more news:

AGE GOOGLING IS BAD FOR YOU

Impatience gives you a headache, distracts you from what you're supposed to be doing, and worst of all, it triggers nagging messages that eventually cause you to fall out of love with writing.

Synchronicities are one of my favorite parts of the writing process. Just when you're feeling lost, a little coincidence might tap you on the shoulder and make you feel a little less alone. When I work with authors, one of the most exciting parts of the creative writing process is when the synchronicities pop up and guide us further on the path.

One particular variety of synchronicity is your "guardian author." A writer from past or present that seems to guide you forward through books, quotes and happy coincidences. Lately, mine has been Charles Dickens. He always pops up with his devilish humor, right when I need him most.

Each new holiday season it's nice to reflect on the year before, acknowledge how far we've come, and realize that we never would have come this far without standing on the shoulders of giants.  

Even around the holidays "rest and recovery" can be dirty words. The "R Words" if you will. Like many of us, I took on a lot this past year, launching a business and finishing my book, while maintaining my full time job and raising a family. Ironically, all this “busyness” has forced me to learn about taking breaks. 

These days, I'm a regular reader of A Course in Miracles, and one of my all time favorite quotes is, "The result of genuine devotion is inspiration, a word which properly understood is the opposite of fatigue." Oh my goodness. That one went right over my head for a long time. And yet it's so obvious.

You can't be inspired when you're fatigued. Plus, if it says that in A Course in Miracles it must be true. ;) So I went out on a limb and gave it a try. I relaxed. The results knocked my socks off. Here's what I learned...

When you first get an idea, creative energy comes in spurts. It’s a little chaotic and you don’t know when it will strike. However all successful artists know how to turn crazy (and temperamental) inspiration into an actual piece of art.

The other day I came across the perfect metaphor for all that chaotic energy we store up. At the time I was watching Blaze and The Monster Machines with my two-year old. Turns out children's educational television is a goldmine for productive writing habits.

The cartoon explained that extraordinary fete of engineering genius: a spring!

Fact is, spirals are one of the most frequently recurring patterns in nature because they channel creativity (Fibonacci's sequence, the formation of galaxies, DNA, I could go on forever...).

Do you ever pick up a book to get inspired, and instead you feel terribly intimidated?

This author is profound, scintillating and funny at the same time! How am I ever going to that? Then you slam the book shut and solemnly vow only to communicate in hand gestures and emojis from this day forth.

Let me just say, you’re not alone. This “other author” despair crosses all our minds at times, but I’m here to talk you off the ledge.

Is it just me, or do you ever berate your creative writing practice?

You’re sitting in front of words on a page when all of a sudden a sandstorm of criticism whooshes in leaving everything you’ve worked so hard on covered in muck.

“This isn’t good enough. Everybody’s going to hate this. Oh my God, my writing is humiliating. Why did I even start? I’m not a real writer.”

Sometimes we derive a false sense of security by being our own worst critic, but actually judgment is the most painful part of the creative writing process. And yet I’ve barely met anyone that makes it through unscathed.

Honestly, it sounds exhausting to write a book on top of everything else, and that’s how we say it too: “On top of everything else!” Which means the house, the kids, the career. It’s kind of funny how the most meaningful things in our life become “everything else” when we simply have too much to do.

So wait, I didn’t exactly answer the question. Who are we, the working mothers of the worlds, supposed to write a book on top of all that?

Let me say, it’s paradoxical. When you have the impulse to write a book, and you carve out small slots of time for it (even in waiting rooms and parking lots), all of the other burdens get lighter. It actually takes more energy to repress creativity than to express it.

Just as those last few pounds are hard to drop, those last few chapters, and especially those last few paragraphs are hard to write. If you want to keep your passion project passionate you should have some trusted habits to loosen up and let yourself NOT work on it.

That’s right, step away from your desk and put the pen down. There are certain kinds of breaks that actually help make the work better. When I’m stuck, experience has shown that there are several strategies I use to help me let go, before I get going again. Six to be specific:

We're all insecure about the one qualification we don't have. Maybe it's a degree, or website numbers, or some other random inadequacy we habitually use to compare ourselves to others.

This can be exhausting. I know. But in our heart of hearts we realize that people don't connect to your qualifications, they connect to something far more important.

When I begin working with an author, they often struggle to find their "expert voice." I tell them to stop. Don't try to be an expert.

Take a look at your own book shelf, do you see a panel of doctors and experts? Or is it a loving group of friends? Which feels more comforting? Honestly, which helps you arrive at your next right action?

Jealousy is a gremlin that hangs around all the great stuff in life. Ahem. Or I should say, it hangs around all the great stuff that we don't have... yet.

It's true. For all of us authors out there, envy lurks around any and all success in writing. However starting now, whenever those little whimpers of envy flutter around another writer's success, I want you to consider them butterflies! That's right, when you feel jealousy, get excited because that's exactly where you're headed, sister!

Jealousy is a big blaring road sign that shows you where you want to go, and these four steps will show you how to get there (and be a lot happier along the way). So let's get started!

Okay, you’re ready. You’re going to write the book you were meant to write. After all, this is what you want to do with your life, you’ve always wanted this. So you find thirty minutes, sit down and…

Nothing.

Pressure builds and you can’t find your voice. It’s like a first date and you wonder, “Why can’t I just be myself?”

Turns out, there’s a reason this happens. I just read about it, and there’s even a solution too.

Apparently, too much significance clogs your brain. Sian Belock, a psychologist at the University of Chicago did a whole study on it. She calls it, “stereotype threat.” When a talented person can’t do the thing they’re meant to do because they’re bogged down by the idea of themselves doing it.

Be honest with me here. When it comes to creativity, do you ever ask yourself, “Why is there never any time?” “Why am I always behind?” “Why can’t I get some help around here?”

I learned a fun trick that goes a long way to solving exactly those problems.

When frustration builds around a specific issue such as never having time for your creative writing process, it’s natural that some version of “Why me?” will echo in your mind.

The thing is that those are all negative questions, and at a subconscious level they will keep generating negative answers: There is never any time to write because… I can’t get this done because…. My family doesn’t support me because… Then come the answers:  work, kids, dishes, clients, and weekends full of assorted obligations.

But there's a very simple way to flip this around.

One of the most exciting parts of the creative writing process is finding synchronicities: those moments when you get a sign that is specifically meaningful to you. Someone calls you just as you’re thinking of them, or you see a symbol that gives you a nudge forward.

It’s also a magically efficient way to move your creative writing project forward because so often synchronicity gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Especially if what you need is a sudden burst of inspiration. Synchronicities are my secret specialty. I love increasing luck, serendipity and significance in my author’s lives.

The first secret, I’m bursting to tell. It can’t even wait to get to my list. If you want to get up early and write, don’t do it every day. Do it once a week and make it a special treat. Alone time for yourself.  So many people never get up early, because they think they always have to do it.

I suggest you just do it once. Make it feel exciting like you’re getting up to catch a flight for an exotic adventure. Because you are.

Have you ever been asked how you accomplished something and answered, “I don´t know, it must have been luck!”

I haven’t.

Why? Because every time I’ve accomplished anything I’ve put in the hours, dealt with rejection, re-strategized and put in more hours before crossing the finish line.

You HAVE to journal. Yes you. It engages you in your life, making everything more exciting. And if life starts to get too exciting, you already have this calm and faithful habit to help you work things out. Journaling is a natural metabolizing process for our thoughts, and therefore your wildest dreams. In fact it´s kind of weird that we don´t have little journals tucked into our brain cells next to the mitochondria.

So, how does it work?

Recently I had the time and energy for a serious writing streak, and it got me thinking about inspiration. What does it feel like? How can we keep it going? What is it made of?

This got me thinking about inspiration as a unique state balanced between meditation and work. So I decided I want to initiate an on-going experiment, reflecting upon the relationship between meditation and inspiration. 

Problems and desires are catalysts for everything great that is ever created. They set our normal life off balance and send us tumbling toward the next big thing. The first guy to light a fire had them. They were hidden in the sparks. Find the problem and desire within the anecdote and it becomes a story. Something that will captivate the attention of your readers.

If you want your story or essay to stand out in a crowded market, these are literary concepts that will transform your writing by maximizing depth and power.

These are the real game changers. They captivated people in Ancient Greece, and they’ve been mastered by Hollywood, but they are also the mark of great literary fiction and creative nonfiction. ln fact, they’re so juicy I’m not even going to introduce them anymore. Here they are...