An editor and an inner critic are two completely different things. One will move you forward and the other will hold you back.

Luckily for us, history has shown that mankind does not find balance by automatically being perfect in the first place. We find balance by making smaller and smaller errors on each side of an equation. Like a pendulum.

I’ve always admired how this works in economics, the rise and fall of civilizations, home cooking, and biochemistry, so I started applying it to my writing practice too. It’s a lot about going to far in one direction and pulling it back, then going too far in another direction and pulling it back.

I first learned about this strategy in a social justice training I went through when I jumped a year-long volunteer program right out of college. Then I came upon it again when I visited The Gandhi Memorial Museum in Madurai, the same place where Martin Luther King Jr. stayed to study nonviolent social change during his pilgrimage to India. I encountered this same technique a third time when I did some volunteer work for the Obama campaign. All that to say, by the time I got around to applying it to my own writing community, I was pretty confident it would be useful. If you have a message and you want to spread it to the masses, this strategy has proven effective by some of the biggest movements in history.

Drum roll, please…

People come to me with big dreams and big books. I believe big dreams are natural phenomena that coincide with being connected to your higher self. That’s where your biggest dreams and your most unique, authentic prose reside.

You may have visions of spreading your message to the masses, being a part of a larger conversation, giving life to the characters inside of you, having movies made from the stories you’ve written and establishing a better life for yourself and others. These dreams are deep truths, because your higher self plays on a big stage and sends visions of what’s possible. Furthermore, the more you take action on your dreams, the more specific they become to you and only you.

Have you ever stifled the urge to throw your laptop against the wall because your book just doesn’t sound as good on paper as it does in your head?

Don’t worry. Breathe. Step away from your technology.

That’s probably the most universal frustration for writers, but there’s a solution. You don’t find your voice by torturing yourself over every single sentence. You find your voice in conversation. Furthermore, you don’t even have to start that conversation with actual people, you can start it with books. Way less intimidating than real life.

One thing that’s been essential for me in overcoming the inner critic is understanding that it’s a state (like being crabby or tired), not a legitimate perspective. I’m naturally more critical of my work after 4 PM, or when I’m not getting enough sleep or exercise. It’s not logical or reasonable.

As a result, there’s no negotiating with the devil. Trying to write when you’re in a state of inner criticism is kind of like tossing a cat in a bathtub. No matter what kind of evidence you compile to defend yourself, the inner critic will step up its game. Over time I’ve created a battalion of seduction. If I feel myself falling into a slump these are the handlebars, I grab to pull myself back up.

Whether you’re writing fiction, nonfiction or memoir you’re going to want to highlight scenes, stories and anecdotes with fully dimensional people inside. That’s why it’s time to talk about characters, because it’s through our humanity that we connect at the deepest level.

Characters aren’t just random or invented people; they are inspired by the meaning of what you’re writing. That goes for fiction or memoir. People don’t just show up in your life or your book for no reason. They are spawned by your why.

It takes so much more energy to be anybody other than yourself. When you’re doing the things you’re meant to do, writing the stuff you need to write, your life flows.

Perhaps this quote, (often attributed to Albert Einstein) said it best, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” I’m now convinced that repeatedly dunking yourself in creative flow activates an intuitive homing device that draws you toward your highest purpose.

This is certainly a lesson I had to learn the hard way. There was a time when I thought I’d always be a teacher. I loved learning, reading, writing and helping, so it sounded like the ideal job description. However, as much as it seemed like this should be my calling, it wasn’t.

My mantra throughout this time was, “Trust the snowball not the avalanche.” So often we drive ourselves mad looking for a big break, but often that avalanche of luck can be scary and unstable. A steady chain of good choices sustains a lucky break. This is especially true of publishing. You can’t get the book deal if you don’t return to the page, day after day.

Putting yourself out there doesn’t have to feel like that nightmare where you’re standing naked in front of your sixth-grade classroom. By no means do you have to be the funniest or most charismatic guest on a major late-night talk show, in order to grow an audience.

For me, growing an audience is more like being a gardener than being a celebrity. It’s made up of grassroots actions that nurture growth.

Is there a hand I can shake? Is there a question I can respond to? Is there a question I can pose that will start a conversation? That is the grassroots of my audience growth. It’s important to do this in a way that’s sustainable.

As I mentioned, I love teaching, so I prefer to grow my audience in that way, it’s a real joy for me to get up and do that kind of outreach. I’ve also done community organizing for nonprofits and political campaigns I’ve believed in, so I see it through that same lens. But as you start to go through some of specific examples I give below, you can find a way that you enjoy.

Anyone who isn’t familiar with the inner critic has never woken up at 2 AM to consider every possible the angle from which their life might fall apart. Whereas creative flow is all about strengthening and developing your true voice, the inner critic is the opposite of that. It’s about as melodic as a police siren and if you listen too long it reliably converts you into a panicked, twitching, cackling mess.

Judgment is the most painful part of the creative writing process. You’re sitting in front of words on a page when a sandstorm of criticism whooshes in leaving everything you’ve worked so hard on covered in muck.

The big fallacy is that this makes your writing better. It doesn’t. It blocks you from creative flow. It prohibits you from taking risks which makes writing unique and valuable. It sucks all the joy out of the process which leaves you with something bland and lifeless.

Some writers are frightened to let go of their inner critic, because they mistakenly believe it keeps them from writing crap. However, you don’t avoid sticking your hand in a fire or stepping in front of a bus by berating yourself. It comes from the wisdom of experience and common sense.

Admittedly writing isn’t as straightforward as the latter examples, but it serves to illustrate the guiding principle I use: Clarity not judgment.

Many writers fear offending others, honestly, not just on topics of race, but when approaching other countries, languages, and time periods. I’ve talked about this a lot one-on-one, and I used to say, “Well, I don’t think the answer is to avoid all the times and places where bad things have happened. We live on earth. Research. Listen. Try to understand.”

However, over the past two weeks, it took me a long time to stop worrying about whether I was good or bad and just listen to conversations about race. Without self-consciousness or white centering. I feel as if I’ve only begun to learn how to listen at the age of 39 years and 48 weeks.

“These conversations make us all better writers,” a trusted mentor wrote to me.

Welcome to your imagination, the most enchanted part of you. Your imagination tells you when you’re in love, when you’re in danger, and it tells you all about the book you need to write. It’s not just your imagination. Trust your imagination. Every invention, book and business has been imagined into reality.

According to the chakras the manifestation an idea moves from inspiration in the crown chakra to imagination in the sixth chakra, commonly called the third eye. There’s a lot of psychedelic lore about the third eye but this is not an acid trip. It’s about developing the imagination, a huge asset that we’ve never been properly taught to use. This comes from a heightened awareness of our interior senses. Here I’ll focus on the four intuitive skills most relevant to writing a book.

An editor and an inner critic are not the same thing. One will move you forward and the other will hold you back.

A professional editor always has their mind on the reader, asking "How can we make this a better experience for them?" The inner critic is focused on the writer, it’s worried and self-conscious. Developing your editing skills can fend off that inner critic because it takes your attention off of yourself and puts it on the communication taking place.

Everybody, absolutely everybody thinks they’re writing too slow (whether they’re churning out a book once a month or once a decade). Nobody on earth seems to give themselves any credit, under any circumstances, for getting enough writing done.

It’s a book for God’s sake. Most people don’t get around to writing them. Thus if you’ve made it this far, you’ve already beaten the odds. But we all need support. So many of us are reflecting on what we want out of life right now. We’re asking, “What’s most significant?” If you have a book in your heart, this is the moment to move forward.

Today we're launching the book, "Empire Moms." It's is a collection of personal stories by mission-driven moms who made the leap and started running their own businesses. I've already read several of the chapters and they're so moving. I feel honored to be included.

All the proceeds for Empire Moms go to Kiva, a microcredit company that helps women all over the world launch small businesses that support their families.

We’re all creating memories right now. Let’s make some good ones! Let’s remember some things we’re really proud to have accomplished.

This is what I love most about writing. It can accompany you everywhere. Whether you’re working on a book or jotting down thoughts, it makes our everyday experience memorable and transformative.

So I’m officially announcing the Cocoon Writing Challenge. That’s right. We’re going to come out of this like butterflies!

Last night I was reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” to my son, Martin, and certain parallels struck me between the butterflies process of metamorphosis and what we’re going through with quarantine. At first, we were hungrily consuming information like famished caterpillars, but at this point, here we are. Cocooned in this new reality.

When we approach spirituality with curiosity rather than fear, horizons widen no matter what conclusions are drawn. And I dare say that most people who’ve worked on a creative project have engaged in some sort of dance with divine guidance or a muse. So, let’s take a deeper look. Together.

If you’re curious about the nature of a muse, I’d love to share my experiences based on in-depth practice and study. This chapter will provide playful ways to engage in a conversation with something larger than yourself. What I have to say is not religion specific at all. It’s art specific, actually.

Perhaps you’ve had an experience that you don’t understand and are longing for context. (That was my situation for a long time.) Or maybe you’re already knowledgeable on the topic of spirit guides and are excited to get a new perspective and compare notes. Great!

Intuition is a craft to be developed, not just a talent. And it’s incredibly useful for writers.

I’ll tell you, over the past weeks, just like all of us, I’ve had my ups and downs. I’ve been tossed around by an angry sea of news headlines, I’ve fallen into future tripping, and downward spiraling, and staring out windows wondering, “What am I supposed to do?”

It took me some time to remember, that this is not the end of the world, because my mind was quick to assure me, “It is!” However, this is not our first rodeo. Not for any of us. We’ve been through difficult periods, and we can use those tools now. We can get out a pen and paper and reflect on the last time we thought the world was ending and draw from that wisdom.

During one of my darkest periods, I scotch-taped a quote by Charles Dickens to the front of an empty red notebook. It read: “Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.” Back then I had no idea how Dickens’ words would continue to support me throughout my life. I was just a college kid.

If we start to limit what's possible for us, that changes our behavior. Don't I know it. It's funny, that always makes me think of Walt Disney because he grew the Disney empire during The Great Depression in the United States. It took him years of focus throughout the 1930s to create Snow White, the first trailblazing animated film. It finally primiered in 1937 and people flocked to it. That was the beginning of so much and it generated millions for Walt Disney's burgeoning vision, in a time when you might think that people only needed food.

We need soul connections. And it's actually projects such as these that provide for people at an emotional level that thrive during difficult times. Writing, hope, art, stories, and meaning are extremely important.

You’ve seen it in movies, stories, novels, and memoirs not to mention all of Shakespeare’s plays, and I’m sure you’ve experienced it in your own life too: tension. It’s also the guts of myths and legends. Viktor Frankl believed that tension gives life meaning, and as you’ll see I believe that too.

People often ask, “Why is it so important for a story to have a conflict?”

And teachers usually answer something like, “It’s the driving force behind the plot!”

But conflict is so much more than that. Ever since the beginning of the universe, all of existence has been throwing itself out of balance and into conflict in order to form higher, more complex, and I would say, more beautiful forms of organization.

Where the untrained eye sees conflict, a writer sees a story that will lead us to a resolution. Keying into the fears and desires will allow you to develop your voice and say what needs to be said. The thing that only you can say. Conflict pushes it out of you.

Expanding your intuition means expanding your imagination. As writer’s we don’t just “make stuff up,” we get to the truth or the heart of the matter. We’re able to see and sense things that everyone else overlooks. That’s intuition.

Over the past few years, I’ve polished and developed my own intuitive skills quite a bit to bring in subjects such as synchronicity, clairvoyance and even working with muses into my own writing. And yet, the more I learn, the more I realize, we use this stuff all the time without realizing it. Here are three fun exercises that will not only open up your intuition but your imagination and consciousness as well.